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Posts Tagged ‘parents’

..so i have depression and all..i looked up at some depression stuff and some experienced people say that it’s hard to get over depression by themselves and need medication and help from docs..so i was wondering..in my city 18 years old is the legal age…and i was wondering if i could go to the doc and get some anti depression pills…without parent permission..cause u know some parents like mine will think that it;s unnecessary…and they will start blabbing stuff and would never understand even if u explained and in fact it makes stuff much worse..so yeh..can i get it wihtout parent permission in my city Hong Kong and when im only 16 years old?

Understandably, many people sitting at home reading this may think that i am a 15 year old feeling rather sorry for myself, and the fact that people haven’t been there to share my experiences may make it difficult for them to understand, but in advance i thank anyone who does comment and offer any advice and help they have to offer.

Like I said, i am 15. I may not have had the worst life in the world, but you know what, it’s affecting me as a person really badly. let’s start from the beginning.

i have a broken family, my mum and dad are still together but they seem too occupied smoking weed to listen to half the stuff i had to say. the rest of my family? they’ve had a fun time threatening and dismissing me, not face to face but it’s really scary. really, especially because i have anxiety issue.. massive anxiety issues.

i’ve been suppressed as a person since a young age, always backing down to let someone get their way. others see it as a gesture of kindness, however i have always been submissive seeing as my parents never raised me to have a sense of involvement in anything even slightly risky.

at school, because of this nature, i was bullied harshly. i called myself king of the school rumours, everyone, even those i considered close friends would have a go at making me look like an utter idiot, even if i had never done anything wrong, and though i have pulled out of school people still find ways to do this, namely because of the fact that these so called ‘friends’ would take advantage of the fact i’m a pushover and get me into situations where i have been threatened, hurt, put ‘in a corner’, spent hundreds on their needs… even something as small and simple as cigarettes, now at 15 i’m scared to death of saying no if someone wants something from me, i’ll just hand over what they want, and then they just keep coming back for more.

i have developed a cloaked personality, nobody knows how scared i am. even though i am scared to death of other people, i’ll still walk out the door with my head held high, and because i put on a happy persona, people don’t believe me that i feel as scared and depressed as i am, and say my overdosing and self harming problems are an attempt at gaining pity and gaining respect, despite the fact i do it hoping one day, i’ll clip the vein in my arm and die. it sounds like i’m being sorry for myself… however unlike alot of people, i know i am psychologically damaged. i know something’s going on inside my head. i give up on everything i ever attempt at doing, i have no self esteem and i spent the whole of the last 8 years scared, since the age of 7, not a single moment i haven’t been scared, and I swear down that is NO exaggeration.

It’s hard to explain what is going on in my mind. i don’t have a personality due to much of the suppression i have felt since i was a child. any type of personality i express is fake, and people never seem to understand this. i have no self esteem whatsoever, and despite seeking help from doctors and counsellors, i haven’t gotten any better, and all that has happened is i got offered anti-depressants, which made me feel even worse.

my existence in life at the moment is to make everyone else look like the bigger man. if anyone’s with me they look like a bigger and better person. i try so hard to change that but any time i speak out, ‘friends’ have shoved me back in my place. i can’t talk to my parents about it because even though i love them and they love me, i think because they don’t understand what’s going through my head, they have started seeing it as i keep just trying to cause trouble and be immature in friendships.

i do however keep some morals. i would never in my life cause harm to another, i would never look at women as tools for sex and would never lay a hand on a woman. i have respect for people who are nice, even though, like i said, i now am scared to death permanently of getting into a bad situation with another person, that i soon end up becoming their slave to do their dirty work and then get in trouble afterwards.

the reason i wrote this is simple. as you probably guessed, i’m at the stage where i have had enough, i’m tired and i just want to rest. on one side, i see that killing myself would hardly do any good. people who love and care for me would be broken, and any battle i have ever lost would not be won, and the hundreds of people in my life who have hurt me and made me the way i am would have won and probably got what they wanted. however, despite all this, i still just want a rest and want everything to be over. i’m scared of death and i would love to sort myself out, but 8 years of feeling this way (yes, even at 7 i felt this way) just makes the urge get stronger day by day. i respect myself for holding on this long, but there’s a time when everyone snaps. i nearly have, and it’s destroying me.

if anyone has any advice for me, and can understand how i’m feeling and can offer advice better then ‘see

My best friend of almost 10 years was told last month she has relasped with cervical cancer, she was diagnosed 7 years ago and had the lesions frozen and did not undergo any kind of chemo or radiation. And she was told last month during her annual pap that not only has it returned but the doc feels it has spread. They did biopsy’s of her hip bone, lymphnodes, nasal tissue, and eye fluid. And the doc has put her on anti-anxiety and anti-depressants and has said it will take 3 weeks for th ebiopsy results to come back and they can tell her the stage its at and everything. My question is this, my friend is a single mom with 3 kids ages 13,11,7 and she is their rock. How can i be there for my friend and help her through what will probably be the most difficult time in her whole life? I am beside myself because she didnt even tell anyone when she found out she kept it a secret for over 1 month and just now told me last week. I want to be the best friend i can and help her as much as i can but im not sure what to do at this point. I’m trying to stay positive for her and the kids but i work in healthcare so knowing the statistics of what she’s going through scare me to death.On a side note as well my friend recently told me that my husband and I are named in her will to get full custody of her children in the event she dies, the fathers are not invovled with the kids at all and she feels her parents are unfit to raise her kids. She also knows that my husband and i dont have any children yet and would be able to provide a life for them that she could only dream of. Now these kids have been in my life since very young, the youngest one since birth and are everything to me, they call me auntie and my husband uncle mike and they are wonderful kids who i would do anything for. What should i do right now til we know what we’re facing to be as supportive and caring as i can. Any cancer survivors or anyone going through something like this please i need advice.

I go to school and stuff, and I want to go on a strict diet- without my parents noticing. How?

I have had very high times and low times in my mood lately.
Like a cruel roller-coaster.
My self-esteem seems to be being ripped apart by this because for a week I’m beautiful and for a month I am a swamp-like creature.
I also have a ton more energy than normal, and can come up with better ideas, too.
I’m really happy, but also very mad; easily irritated.
During these time I’m also very social, interested in people, which is strange because I’m pretty much anti-social.
I also have really strange habits, and because of all this my school, and family-life is affected.
(habits:saying rude things, biting my fingers, yelling at people who aren’t even talking to me, being very impulsive, daydreaming so much I can barely concentrate on real life)
I’m 90% sure I am at the very least Bipolar II.
Anyway;
I’ve read up on this; taken a few scientifically reviewed tests and they all say:
Moderate to Severe Mania/Depression very likely;
Beneficial to get screened.
But the problem is my parents will not get me screened,or take me to a therapist and are very-anti drug. So I’m left with nothing because my parents are still my care-takers.
School is out now, so I can’t talk to a counselor there.
My parents believe that mental illnesses occur from terrible situations and abuse, so I’m just perfectly fine because I haven’t been abused.
But the funny thing is from the moment I was born I’ve had more than my fair share of traumatic experiences for my age; (13 surgeries due to facial defect, loss of two siblings, institutionalization e.e)

I just feel like I’m stuck.
What should I do?

Nearly 20 years ago as a college freshman I found myself with a fairly new boyfriend and an unexpected pregnancy. My plan was to place the baby and stay in school; I totally let the guy off the hook — we didn’t know each other well at all, and even though I liked him well enough… we just hadn’t been together that long and I didn’t want him involved.

My parents, though, begged me to keep the child. They said they couldn’t face the thought of of their grandchild "out there and unknown to them." More turmoil in an already tumultuous situation.

The guy stuck around. He actually turned out to be a fantastic support and amazing friend when I really needed one. The college I was attending was small/private/Christian & wanted me GONE. I agreed to keep my pregnancy a secret and leave after exams. Actually, I begged and they did the agreeing.

My good guy turned into Mr. Wonderful one day when he said: You know, we could just get married. We don’t know each other that well… but we get along great, and I think it’ll be okay. Let’s give it a try.
So we started planning a small wedding.

But, at my first ultrasound I was told I was fully a month LESS pregnant than I thought. I was shocked to realize that meant the baby wasn’t his, but a long-gone one night mistake with a group of friends out of town over the summer… one of those regrettable things.

I told him, and his response was: I very much want to marry you, but I cannot be a father to someone else’s child.

He asked me to have an abortion but continue with our plans to marry. I did. We did. We told everyone we lost it. He comforted me by saying not to worry, we’d "try again" soon, and not long after we got married we did have our first daughter. Now we have two girls (15 & 13). He is an amazing dad; he works hard and we have a great life.

Meanwhile I’ve been living all these years so incredibly sorry for what I did — giving up MY child just because he asked me to, and without very much thought. As our girls have grown I think about my first, wondering what he or she would have been like, everything at every stage. I can’t let it go, and as time passes I find myself angrier and angrier at my husband.

He is such a great dad to our kids, but he so quickly wanted to get rid of mine. No one had to know, and the baby was an innocent. I’m not discounting my part in any way — I beat myself up in more ways than I can count for what I so easily threw away.

I have been to a therapist who wanted me to see an intensive Grief/Loss person — the problem is this: If I go talk to someone like that I’m going to have to tell them how very angry & resentful I’ve become toward my husband. He doesn’t know. We don’t talk about it.

I just don’t know…

**Sorry this turned into a novel. Thanks if you took the time to read it.**