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Posts Tagged ‘insecurities’

Hi everyone,

I’ve posted this before, but I only got a couple of answers, so I’m hoping to get some more advice!

I’m 26 and am in a relationship with a lovely guy, aged 27, and have been for almost 18 months. I suffer with severe depression and anxiety. I’m on anti depressants, (Sertraline), and I’m receiving counselling. I’ve been quite open over my feelings with my boyfriend, and he’s been supportive. I’ve only recently started taking the anti depressants, (about 3 weeks ago), and they seem to have increased my insecurities. Whilst I’m with my bf, I’m ok, but as soon as we’re apart, I start having massive doubts as to his feelings for me. I’ve told him I don’t feel loved when I’m apart from him, and he asked what he could do to help, but I couldn’t answer. For instance, this weekend, he went to a party, so I went to see a girlfriend. The whole time, I was obsessing over my phone and why he wasn’t texting me back straight away etc. I know it was irrational and paranoid of me, but I can’t help it! I don’t want to keep going on at him, and saying "I need you to reassure me" all the time, because he shouldn’t have to.

I am having regular meet ups with my dr to discuss my medication, and she wants me to stick with it. What can I do to remind myself that he does love me when we’re apart? I know in my heart he does, but I get this nauseating feeling in my stomach and get all panicky that he doesn’t. Has anyone else gone through this? Or can anyone give me some advice? I want to be a happy person who he looks forward to seeing, and my fears will turn into a self fulfilling prophecy at this rate.

Hi everyone,

I’m 26 and am in a relationship with a lovely guy, aged 27, and have been for almost 18 months. I suffer with severe depression and anxiety. I’m on anti depressants, (Sertraline), and I’m receiving counselling. I’ve been quite open over my feelings with my boyfriend, and he’s been supportive. I’ve only recently started taking the anti depressants, (about 3 weeks ago), and they seem to have increased my insecurities. Whilst I’m with my bf, I’m ok, but as soon as we’re apart, I start having massive doubts as to his feelings for me. I’ve told him I don’t feel loved when I’m with him, and he asked what he could do to help, but I couldn’t answer. For instance, this weekend, he went to a party, so I went to see a girlfriend. The whole time, I was obsessing over my phone and why he wasn’t texting me back straight away etc. I know it was irrational and paranoid of me, but I can’t help it! I don’t want to keep going on at him, and saying "I need you to reassure me" all the time, because he shouldn’t have to.

I am having regular meet ups with my dr to discuss my medication, and she wants me to stick with it. What can I do to remind myself that he does love me when we’re apart? I know in my heart he does, but I get this nauseating feeling in my stomach and get all panicky that he doesn’t. Has anyone else gone through this? Or can anyone give me some advice? I want to be a happy person who he looks forward to seeing, and my fears will turn into a self fulfilling prophecy at this rate.

Thanks everyone
I meant I don’t feel loved when I’m NOT with him…

I’m sure a lot of people can say this, but, when I was 17 life was so much easier.

I have always been very optimistic, but I can see myself changing and becoming negative like everyone else I know.

I believe deeply that I should be thankful for my problems because God is in control. But I can’t control my thoughts or actions anymore. I no longer think innocently.

I am now 23 and I have had my share of traumas/unfortunate events.

My ex-boyfriend was killed in 2006 leaving me with so many questions and confusion. I can say that is the major effect of my symptoms now.

But since that happened it seems as though it unveiled all the deeper problems I’ve had in the past. Abandonment and trust issues to be specific.

I was molested as a child and abused mentally/physically.
I am now dating someone 4 years younger who is a compulsive liar and borderline. Doesn’t help much. But for some reason I love him with all my heart. I feel like being with him is only bringing my insecurities more out in the open.
With the trust issues and age difference I often have harmful thoughts. I view my self as lowest at all times and I am only happy when I think of the day I will be free of him.

But its not that easy, he wont let me go on my own terms. he wont let me go physically. If I say its over he will stand at my door day and night (i know cuz Ive tried). & yes it’s his immaturity, yes, its unhealthy. I know the answers I just cannot implement them on my part. I cant do the whole restraining order break up. Out of my love for God and kindness, I stay and pray… and think I can help him… but I think its making me depressed… I don t want to do anything I used to. I’m tired all the time, hungry all the time, sad all the time, jealous all the time. I dont have insurance for a doctor. & I’ve tried anti depressants from a family member but they only leave me tired and naseous. I don’t know what my issue is. I just want the old me back! Is anti depressents the only answer? & is this depression?

I feel like women are constantly told two messages:
1. Be happy with who you are
2. Make yourself better

I was in a basic nutrition and exercise class that spent the whole class talking about how to improve our health. Then a person from the counseling center came in to talk about how you need to be happy with your body the way it is. That doesn’t make any sense to me. Isn’t it okay to be unhappy with who you are if you are hurting yourself? People complain about the diet industry’s multimillion dollar profits made off of people’s insecurities but doesn’t say anything about the multiBILLION dollar fast food business killing people with their products. Is this a legitimate complaint? I’m really confused.